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Scary Dead Things

Author: Rick Gualtieri
Publisher: Westmarch Publishing
ISBN: 1940415144
Size: 36.41 MB
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There are reasons we fear the night. He STILL isn't one of them. Bill Ryder, the trash-talking undead geek from Bill the Vampire, is back and about to find himself in a whole new world of side-splitting insanity. One of the most powerful vampires on the planet has given Bill a death sentence. Meanwhile, an immortal princess wants him for an entirely different purpose, one which makes his first issue seem almost preferable. All the while, new and powerful forces have begun to emerge from the shadows around him. Are they friend or foe? Knowing his luck, do you even have to ask? Bill's only hope is to marshal his friends, master his powers, and somehow prove that he's the scariest dead thing of them all. ------------- Scary Dead Things, book two in The Tome of Bill series, is a foul-mouthed horror comedy with an attitude the size of Brooklyn. ------------- This is book 2 in the Tome of Bill horror comedy series. Forget all of those brooding vampires, pining for lost love as they whine about it for centuries. It's time to make the undead fun again. Welcome to the story of Bill Ryder, a wise-cracking, sharp-tongued geek who just can't take the supernatural world too seriously. It's action, adventure and lots of politically incorrect laughs. If you're a fan of Army of Darkness or Shaun of the Dead then you're in the right place. Writing these books puts a huge smile on my face. I sincerely hope you have as much fun reading them. The Tome of Bill currently includes: Bill the Vampire (book 1) Scary Dead Things (book 2) The Mourning Woods (book 3) Holier Than Thou (book 4) Goddamned Freaky Monsters (book 5) Half A Prayer (book 6) Sunset Strip: A Tale From The Tome Of Bill The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1) - Books 1-4 of the series in one collection for those who wish to follow the adventure and save a few bucks in the process.

Holier Than Thou

Author: Rick Gualtieri
Publisher: Westmarch Publishing
ISBN: 1940415101
Size: 46.10 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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There are reasons the undead fear the night... Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has woman troubles. The girl he wants is deadly to him. The girl who wants him is deadly to everyone else. He's trapped in the most lethal love triangle he can imagine and it's only going to get worse. On the eve of war, The Icon - ancient foe of the vampire race - has arisen. Panic is about to break out within the undead ranks and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it. Destiny has placed them on a cataclysmic collision course, but there's just one small catch: he's in love with her. Now he finds himself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the person who's fated to destroy him. Talk about being damned if you do... Unsure of his allies and outnumbered by enemies, Bill must dig deep within himself and find the faith to succeed - because if he fails, it'll be more than just his social life in tatters. ------------------ Holier Than Thou, book four in The Tome of Bill series, is a foul-mouthed paranormal dance with death, destiny, and trying to get a date. ------------------ Welcome to the fourth book in my Tome of Bill urban fantasy series. This series is about a geeky gamer who finds himself thrust into a world of magic, monsters, and assorted other horrors - most of whom want him dead. Looking for brooding heroes pining for lost love? Well, I'm afraid you should seek your reading pleasure elsewhere. The hero of these stories, Bill Ryder, is much more likely to spend his days wondering whether Captain Picard could beat Gandalf the Grey in a battle of wits - all while throwing out caustic one-liners at the creatures dragging the world to Hell around him. What better way to combat the forces of evil than with a quick wit and sarcastic attitude? I have a lot of fun writing these stories. I very much hope you enjoy them. The Tome of Bill currently includes: Bill the Vampire (book 1) Scary Dead Things (book 2) The Mourning Woods (book 3) Holier Than Thou (book 4) Goddamned Freaky Monsters (book 5) Half A Prayer (book 6) Sunset Strip: A Tale From The Tome Of Bill The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1) - Books 1-4 of the series in one collection for those who wish to follow the adventure and save a few bucks in the process. ---------- Keywords: urban fantasy,paranormal fantasy,horror comedy,hilarious stories,funny books,contemporary fantasy series magic,vampire series,vampires,vampire comedy,vampires fiction,comedy series,geek humor,gamer humor,alpha master vampire,fiction novels,fantasy ebooks,comedy vampires,underworld,supernatural stories,undead,zombies,superhero,superheroes,unlikely heroes,underdog heroes,new york,forbidden love,templar,faith,chosen one,paranormal romance

The Mourning Woods

Author: Rick Gualtieri
Publisher: Westmarch Publishing
ISBN: 1940415128
Size: 21.51 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Vampires versus Bigfoot - winner takes all. Bill Ryder: undead geek, dateless dweeb, and legendary vampire is back in his wildest adventure yet. A war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can't be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity's darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Bill and his friends are the only chance we have...Lord help us all! The vampire nation dispatches Bill to a faraway land to broker peace, but it's not going to be easy. His enemies want him dead. Hell, some of his allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn and in places where he least expects it. Now he must rely on his friends, master his fledgling powers, and use every four-letter word in his arsenal to stop the war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods. ------------- The Mourning Woods, book three in The Tome of Bill series, is a foul-mouthed paranormal adventure that will leave your funny bone feeling like it's been trampled by an angry moose. ------------- This is book 3 of the Tome of Bill horror comedy series and it brings together two of my all time favorite monsters: Vampires and Sasquatch. It's an all out bloody brawl in the woods of northern Canada to determine the fate of the world. Writing these books puts a huge smile on my face. I sincerely hope you have as much fun reading them. The Tome of Bill currently includes: Bill the Vampire (book 1) Scary Dead Things (book 2) The Mourning Woods (book 3) Holier Than Thou (book 4) Goddamned Freaky Monsters (book 5) Half A Prayer (book 6) Sunset Strip: A Tale From The Tome Of Bill The Tome of Bill Compendium (vol 1) - Books 1-4 of the series in one collection for those who wish to follow the adventure and save a few bucks in the process. ---------- Keywords: urban fantasy,paranormal fantasy,horror comedy,hilarious stories,funny books,contemporary fantasy series magic,vampire series,vampires,vampire comedy,vampires fiction,comedy series,geek humor,gamer humor,alpha master vampire,fiction novels,fantasy ebooks,comedy vampires,underworld,supernatural stories,undead,zombies,superhero,superheroes,unlikely heroes,underdog heroes,canada,bigfoot,sasquatch,cryptids,grendel,alma,yeti

Goddamned Freaky Monsters

Author: Rick Gualtieri
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781940415215
Size: 51.49 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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There are reasons we fear the night. Now he's trying to stop them. Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process. Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it's about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Bill's only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.