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Intrusive Partners Elusive Mates

Author: Stephen J. Betchen
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1135404232
Size: 20.37 MB
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When two people form a relationship or marry, they begin to move towards one another with the expectation of closeness. The emotionality or intensity that accompanies this process, however, may result in fusion followed by a desperate need for space or distance. Intrusive Partners - Elusive Mates is the first book to deal exclusively with the pursuer-distancer interaction, and to focus significant attention on the emerging male pursuer-female distancer dynamic. This book revisits Fogarty's work, traces the concept over time and across different professional fields, and discusses in detail the concepts correlation with gender issues and social change. A detailed, step-by-step model of treatment to aid in de-escalating this potentially problematic style is also offered. The model in and of itself is unique because it integrates psychoanalytic conflict theory and psychodynamic systems theory into one treatment approach. This book is intended to offer the therapist a model for understanding and effectively discussing this dynamic, while at the same time allowing couples to read and explore it on their own.

The Solo Partner

Author: Phil DeLuca
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781570901591
Size: 53.46 MB
Format: PDF
View: 2007
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Based on successful methods used for years by a marriage counselor in his clinical practice, this book offers practical advice and effective techniques to get relationships back on track. "It is possible to heal your relationship without the help of your partner, " says the author, and this book, illustrated with real life examples of the dynamic struggles and processes of relationship in crisis, shows how. The book, called "a breakthrough for couples in understanding the dynamics of power struggles in relationship, " by psychotherapist Carolyn Bushong, teaches the reader how to shift interaction from a destructive to a healing mode, how to keep from being blamed by your partner, and how to prevent the frustrating cycle of pursuing and distancing that so many couples fall into. Included are detailed questionnaires and worksheets to help the reader understand relationship dynamics and identify the best healing strategies. DeLuca, a marriage counselor and family therapist, addresses the problem of noncooperation by one partner in a relationship and provides advice for overcoming obstacles by concentrating on the one partner who recognizes the problems and is motivated to conquer them. "How could I teach a couple to resolve their problems when one partner refused to acknowledge a problem existed -- let alone discuss it?" he asks. This work, the result of the author's 25 years experience in marriage and family counseling, answers that question.

Magnetic Partners

Author: Stephen Betchen
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781439109540
Size: 79.69 MB
Format: PDF
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Do you and your partner argue about the same things over and over again? Are you often confused about why your partner is so angry with you? Are things getting worse and worse even though you’ve tried everything you can think of to make them better? In this breakthrough guide to repairing romantic relationships, therapist and marriage researcher Dr. Stephen Betchen presents a powerful new explanation of what leads to this kind of escalating conflict in couples and how you can repair your relationship and find a whole new level of happiness. Based on his extensive experience as a couples’ therapist, Dr. Betchen has discovered that the prevailing idea that opposites attract is wrong. Instead, one of the strongest forces that attracts people to one another is that they share a hidden, inner conflict in their lives—an unconscious struggle within themselves that each of them developed growing up—which he calls a "master conflict." The fact that a couple shares a master conflict acts as an almost magnetic force of attraction, but, over time, master conflicts often begin to push a pair apart—many of the very things you most appreciated about each other start to grate on you, producing increasing hostility. The good news is that by identifying the master conflict that you share, you and your partner can take the steps to break the cycle of fighting and come to a new place of understanding and happiness in your relationship. Often, just the realization that you have this hidden conflict acts as a powerful cure, allowing you to appreciate each other once again and to be empathetic about the things that have been irritating you both. From his years of work with couples, Betchen has identified the nineteen most common master conflicts—such as getting your needs met vs. caretaking; giving vs. withholding; commitment vs. freedom; power vs. passivity—and for each he provides vivid stories of couples who have struggled with them, as well as simple tests that help you to: • Identify the core master conflict that is causing your relationship problems • Understand the origins of your conflict and how it drew you to your partner • Diagnose how the conflict is now pushing you apart • Come to new terms with the conflict to save your relationship As Dr. Betchen writes, knowledge of a master conflict is power, and Magnetic Partners is an empowering guide that will help you not only to identify and control your master conflict, but also to bring your relationship to a new level based on deeper understanding, ultimately leading to greater fulfillment and long-term resilience. Partners

The Ethics Of Interpersonal Relationships

Author: Joyce Catlett
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 0429920660
Size: 41.69 MB
Format: PDF
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'Our inspiration for writing this book springs from a deep feeling for people and a grave concern that without a proper understanding of the reasons for their inhumanity in relation to one another and the development of a compassionate world view, it is likely that human beings may eventually destroy themselves and life on the planet. This work is an attempt to explain the source of destructive behaviour and how it manifests itself in personal relationships between men, women, couples, and families, and in the social arena. We present a position that offers a hope of altering the destiny of humankind's unethical behavior through better psychological understanding and education. Understanding the source of a person's aggressiveness in defending the fantasy bond and learning to cope with the voice process have strong implications for child-rearing and better mental health practices. Identifying destructive behaviours and faulty programming in family life and society, developing insight into the relationship between defences and aggressive responses, and offering a method to counteract destructive trends constitute a challenge to what many people consider to be humankinds basically unethical nature.' - From the Authors' Introduction

Master Conflict Therapy

Author: Stephen J. Betchen
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1351751093
Size: 60.41 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Illustrated with case studies, this book teaches couples and sex therapists the comprehensive, integrative treatment approach of master conflict therapy (MCT), which combines psychoanalytic conflict theory and Bowen Theory with the basic principles and practice of sex therapy. MCT suggests that each partner has an internal conflict born out of their experiences from their respective families of origin. Partners then choose one another based on these conflicts, and it is only when they are out of balance that the couple experiences symptoms. The authors help clinicians treat couples through providing them with a solid theoretical foundation, a practical assessment procedure, and highly effective treatment techniques to re-balance a couple and, in turn, alleviate their sexual symptoms.

Systemic Sex Therapy

Author: Katherine M. Hertlein
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
ISBN: 1135695407
Size: 37.21 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Systemic Sex Therapy serves as an introduction to the field of sex therapy from a systems perspective. It is an excellent resource for graduate students in marriage and family therapy programs or students and professionals who want a truly fresh perspective on sex therapy. This approach moves beyond traditional behavioral approaches to incorporate individual, couple, and intergenerational factors in etiology and treatment. Unlike current books on the market that are outdated, too advanced, simplistic, unfocused, or too diffuse in content, Systemic Sex Therapy is comprehensive, concise, highly focused on treatment, user-friendly, and contains features not found in other sex therapy texts, such as a systemic/behavioral focus, clinical innovation, and a greater focus on implementation rather than competing works.

A Roadmap For Couple Therapy

Author: Arthur C. Nielsen
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1136671331
Size: 12.67 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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A Roadmap for Couple Therapy offers a comprehensive, flexible, and user-friendly template for conducting couple therapy. Grounded in an in-depth review of the clinical and research literature, and drawing on the author’s 40-plus years of experience, it describes the three main approaches to conceptualizing couple distress and treatment—systemic, psychodynamic, and behavioral—and shows how they can be integrated into a model that draws on the best of each. Unlike multi-authored texts in which each chapter presents a distinct brand of couple therapy, this book simultaneously engages multiple viewpoints and synthesizes them into a coherent model. Covering fundamentals and advanced techniques, it speaks to both beginning therapists and experienced clinicians. Therapists will find A Roadmap for Couple Therapy an invaluable resource as they help distressed couples repair and revitalize their relationships.

Relational Psychoanalysis Volume 5

Author: Lewis Aron
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1317722183
Size: 25.62 MB
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Building on the success and importance of three previous volumes, Relational Psychoanalysis continues to expand and develop the relational turn. Under the keen editorship of Lewis Aron and Adrienne Harris, and comprised of the contributions of many of the leading voices in the relational world, Volume 5 carries on the legacy of this rich and diversified psychoanalytic approach by taking a fresh look at the progress in therapeutic process. Included here are chapters on transference and countertransference, engagement, dissociation and self-states, analytic impasses, privacy and disclosure, enactments, improvisation, development, and more. Thoughtful, capacious, and integrative, this new volume places the leading edge of relational thought close at hand, and pushes the boundaries of the relational turn that much closer to the horizon. Contributors: Lewis Aron, Anthony Bass, Beatrice Beebe, Philip Bromberg, Steven Cooper, Jody Messler Davies, Darlene Ehrenberg, Dianne Elise, Glen Gabbard, Adrienne Harris, Irwin Hoffman, Steven Knoblauch, Thomas Ogden, Spyros Orfanos, Stuart Pizer, Philip Ringstrom, Jill Salberg, Stephen Seligman, Joyce Slochower, Donnel Stern, Paul Wachtel.

Cyclical Psychodynamics And The Contextual Self

Author: Paul L. Wachtel
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 131774330X
Size: 23.87 MB
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Cyclical Psychodynamics and the Contextual Self articulates in new ways the essential features and most recent extensions of Paul Wachtel's powerfully integrative theory of cyclical psychodynamics. Wachtel is widely regarded as the leading advocate for integrative thinking in personality theory and the theory and practice of psychotherapy. He is a contributor to cutting edge thought in the realm of relational psychoanalysis and to highlighting the ways in which the relational point of view provides especially fertile ground for integrating psychoanalytic insights with the ideas and methods of other theoretical and therapeutic orientations. In this book, Wachtel extends his integration of psychoanalytic, cognitive-behavioral, systemic, and experiential viewpoints to examine closely the nature of the inner world of subjectivity, its relation to the transactional world of daily life experiences, and the impact on both the larger social and cultural forces that both shape and are shaped by individual experience. Here, he discusses in a uniquely comprehensive fashiong the subtleties of the clinical interaction, the findings of systematic research, and the role of social, economic, and historical forces in our lives. The chapters in this book help to transcend the tunnel vision that can lead therapists of different orientations to ignore the important discoveries and innovations from competing approaches. Explicating the pervasive role of vicious circles and self-fulfilling prophecies in our lives, Cyclical Psychodynamics and the Contextual Self shows how deeply intertwined the subjective, the intersubjective, and the cultural realms are, and points to new pathways to therapeutic and social change. Both a theoretical tour de force and an immensely practical guide to clinical practice, this book will be essential reading for psychoanalysts, psychotherapists and students of human behavior of all backgrounds and theoretical orientations.

Desire Desirability

Author: Alison Poulsen, Ph.d.
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781542768788
Size: 60.81 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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Whether you are the Pursuer desiring more intimacy or the Distancer seeking more autonomy, "Desire & Desirability" gives you insight into the dangers of the Pursuer/Distancer relationship pattern and the tools to break free of it. When Pursuers seek too much connection or attachment, Distancers feel smothered or trapped. When Distancers feel too much pressure for togetherness, they become anxious about losing their freedom and their sense of self. Ultimately, when pushed too hard for increased connection, Distancers often withdraw from the relationship leaving the Pursuer feeling rejected or heartbroken. To sustain a mutually-fulfilling relationship, the first step is knowing how to change your own behavior to transform the relationship dynamic. Real-life examples illustrate ways to transform desire based on need into desirability based on fullness. The examples focus primarily on couples in loving relationships but the principles discussed hold true for all types of relationships including parents and children, co-workers, and friends. The strategies in this book will empower you to achieve a more sustainable and happier relationship based on mutual desire.