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You Might Be A Redneck If

Author: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780836237382
Size: 51.98 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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Designed to generate impulse sales, titles in this line are carefully balanced for gift giving, self-purchase, or collecting. Little Books may be small in size, but they're big in titles and sales.

Butter My Butt And Call Me A Biscuit

Author: Allan Zullo
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740785672
Size: 61.40 MB
Format: PDF
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They're called colloquialisms, idioms, of just good old fashioned, home-grown country sayings steeped in humor and home-spun common sense. These parlances might not fit the modern hoity toity rhetoric you're used to seeing in print or hearing on TV, and that's exactly why they're more refreshing than an ice cube in July. In Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit, Author Allan Zullo offers up more than 200 vernacular verses presented in themes, such as: * Admitting You're Wrong--The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets the harder it is to swallow. * Congress--Gettin' a politician to do somethin' good for our country is like tryin' to poke a cat out from under the porch with a rope. * Ego--Some people are so full of themselves, you'd like to buy 'em for what they're worth and sell 'em for what they think they're worth. * Teenage Boys--You kinda wish they used their heads for somethin' besides hat racks. * Revenge--Two wrongs don't make a right, but they sure do make it even. * Surprises--Sometimes you get so surprised by life there ain't nothin' else to say but, 'Butter my butt and call me a biscuit.'"

Jeff Foxworthy S Redneck Dictionary

Author: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher: Fawcett
ISBN: 0307495566
Size: 69.89 MB
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Hey, you! The one holding the book. Have you ever seen a volume like this? Well, whether you realize it or not, it’s the one you’ve been waiting for. Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary will teach you how to speak this unique Southern dialect fluently. Whether you’re blue-collar or hoity-toity, swimming in cash or betting your bottom dollar, a little bit country or a lot of city slicker, this practical reference to redneck words and turns of phrases will give you hours of laughs. So expand your horizons and learn another language with this fun, instructive, and hilariously illustrated book as your guide. After all, speaking redneck is a heck of a lot easier than speaking French! From the Hardcover edition.

Jeff Foxworthy S Redneck Dictionary Ii

Author: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 1588365662
Size: 57.29 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Clearly one redneck dictionary was not enough. And it’s no wonder. The South is positively bursting at the seams with colorful words and turns of phrases in this distinct dialect. Now men and women from all across this great land can further fine-tune their fluency and showcase their confidence when speaking to folks who hail from below the Mason-Dixon line. Need a crash course in this truly inspired lingo? Well, Jeff Foxworthy’s Redneck Dictionary II puts the “vern” in “vernacular,” offering up a veritable gumbo of must-be-known selections: infamy (in’fe-mé) adv. and n. another person’s intent to exact physical punishment. “Ever since I stole his girlfriend, Bobby’s had it infamy.” assassin (e-sas’-en) v. to disrespect verbally. “Don’t just stand there assassin me, boy–go clean your room!” honor student (än’-er stu’-dent) prep. and n. to be positioned over, and supported by, a pupil. “Yeah, I knew piano lessons after midnight was weird, but I still didn’t suspect nothin’ till I caught her honor student.” So open your ears and activate your funny bone with this hilarious, practical, and playfully illustrated reference. It’s like having your very own personal dialect coach–one who doesn’t mind getting picked up and read and laughed at and passed along to friends. From the Hardcover edition.

Check Your Neck

Author: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781563520488
Size: 72.68 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Foxworthy makes you see red with this installment of redneck humor.

Here S Your Sign

Author: Bill Engvall
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 1418530530
Size: 24.14 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Stupid people are everywhere! "Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.' Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy briefcase and handed him his very own Stupid sign." For the first time in print, here are more than 200 classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes?along with silly product warnings and some favorite family stories. Bill's hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will keep you laughing. I was carrying out a bag of garbage the other day and my neighbor yelled across the fence, "Are you taking out the trash?" I said, "No, I'm going to feed our pet rats." Here's your sign! After fishing with a buddy, we pulled our boat into the dock and lifted out this big string of fish. A guy on the dock asked, "Y'all catch all them fish?" I said, "Nope. We talked them into giving up." Here's your sign!

Quick Fix Cooking With Roadkill

Author: Buck Peterson
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449401996
Size: 30.96 MB
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Move over Rachael Ray. Smash car driver and redneck culinary authority Buck "Buck" Peterson follows up The Original Road Kill Cookbook with more than 50 new roadkill recipes inside Quick-Fix Cooking with Roadkill. Created for culinary cruisers on the go, each recipe can be prepared in less than 30 minutes after its roadside procurement. Consider ditch-divining recipes such as Perky Jerky, Corned Carnage and Cabbage, Freeway Frittata, Backed-Over Baby Back Ribs, Pavement Panini, and Tar-Tare. Also included are sample tasting menus for breakfasts, lunches, appetizers, dinners, and holiday meals, as well as entertaining tips on where to shop, how to tell when an animal has given up the ghost, and how to pair your roadkill with wine. Nothing is left to chance, except your next culinary roadkill junction. So, when there's a fork in the road, why not pick it up and eat what's found nearby.

Live Right And Find Happiness Although Beer Is Much Faster

Author: Dave Barry
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0425280144
Size: 43.87 MB
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During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, American humourist Dave Barry has learned much of wisdom,* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed) and he is eager to pass it on to the next generation, the generation after that and to those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience. By the end of this book, if you do not feel wiser, richer in knowledge, more attuned to the universe... We wouldn't be at all surprised. But you'll have had a lot to laugh about!

Games Rednecks Play

Author: Jeff Foxworthy
Publisher: Longstreet Press
ISBN: 9781563521652
Size: 26.34 MB
Format: PDF
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More fun than dating your cousin or shooting a stop sign.

Total Redneck Manual

Author: T. Edward Nickens
Publisher: Weldon Owen
ISBN: 1681883449
Size: 20.58 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Do you keep a few favorite squirrel recipes committed to memory? Know by heart the way to the best deer stand on Grandpa's 20-acre farm? Have an old tractor rusting in the back field, because you just might need the parts one day? You're not alone. So do the authors of The Total Redneck Manual. Whether you’re winching your truck out of a mud hole, packing in a good dip, or teaching your bird dog to fetch a beer from the mini-fridge, there’s something in this country-fried cultural document for you. This is a loving celebration of an all-American cultural icon, but it’s also a hands-on working book that can help anyone better enjoy the great outdoors. In true Field & Stream fashion, it's packed with 200+ tips on essential outdoor skills, from picking the right hunting dog and sighting in a rifle, to fixing just about anything with duct tape and paracord, to frying up catfish just like grandma used to make. You'll also learn to open a beer bottle with just about anything, spit on a campfire with deadly accuracy, and kit out the truck of your dreams... with spray paint. So, kick off your boots, crack open a cold one, take a seat on the porch, and learn from the best.