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People I Want To Punch In The Throat

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549988
Size: 77.14 MB
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Advance praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear From the Trade Paperback edition.

Working With People I Want To Punch In The Throat

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944123062
Size: 21.41 MB
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If you've ever toiled away in a cubicle or sat through the third meeting your boss scheduled to plan another meeting, then you can relate to this book. This is the third book in Jen Mann's New York Times best-selling People I Want to Punch in the Throat series and it will not disappoint This is the book you'll want to accidentally on purpose leave on the desk of that blowhard in marketing. This is the book you'll just happen to drop next the microwave in the break room hoping that Jan in accounting reads it before she reheats last night's smelly leftovers for lunch. This is the book you'll mail anonymously to your micromanaging boss with certain passages highlighted. The Punch List: Company-wide happy hours. I barely want to work with you. I definitely don't want to have a beer with you. The Ivy Leaguers. You do know every sentence doesn't have to start with, "When I was at Princeton..."? The martyrs. You get sick days-use one. Stop dragging your sniffling, snorting, coughing, sneezing ass to work and infecting the rest of us. You're not that important. Advance Praise for Working with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: "I'm grateful to all of the people Jen Mann writes about in this book-the condescending managers, undermining editors, the plastic surgeon who helpfully offered free operations during a job interview, and the boss who fired her with a Post-It Note-because they made her into the rage-filled writer we all know and love." - Jancee Dunn, author of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids "I connected with Jen Mann's book more deeply than I'm comfortable with. It was brilliant and gross and hilarious and heartwarming and then hilarious again. I literally couldn't put it down. For what it's worth, the only book before this one that I read in one sitting without a break was Dances with Wolves. Don't judge me." - James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), author of Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Only Dead On The Inside

Author: James Breakwell
Publisher: BenBella Books
ISBN: 194464864X
Size: 60.81 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay. There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies. Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us. Written by professional comedy writer and amateur father-of-four James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), Only Dead on the Inside blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs. This step-by-step manual teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. Motivated moms and dads want it all, and that won't change at the end of the world. There's no reason you can't be a zombie killing machine AND parent of the year, but you have to work for it. If you want to make sure your family is apocalypse-ready, Only Dead on the Inside is your best—and only—chance at survival. No pressure, but if you don't read this book, your children will die.

Approval Junkie

Author: Faith Salie
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
ISBN: 0553419943
Size: 22.66 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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From comedian and journalist Faith Salie, of NPR's Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me! and CBS News Sunday Morning, a collection of daring, funny essays chronicling the author's adventures during her lifelong quest for approval Faith Salie has done it all in the name of validation. Whether she’s trying to impress her parents with a perfect GPA, undergoing an exorcism to save her toxic marriage, or baking a 3D excavator cake for her son’s birthday, Salie is the ultimate approval seeker—an “approval junkie,” if you will. In this collection of daring, honest essays, Salie shares stories from her lifelong quest for gold stars, recounting her strategy for winning (very Southern) high school beauty pageant; her struggle to pick the perfect outfit to wear to her divorce; and her difficulty falling in love again, and then conceiving, in the years following her mother’s death. With thoughtful irreverence, Salie reflects on why she tries so hard to please others, and herself, highlighting a phenomenon that many people—especially women—experience at home and in the workplace. Equal parts laugh-out loud funny and poignant, Approval Junkie is one woman’s journey to realizing that seeking approval from others is more than just getting them to like you—it's challenging yourself to achieve, and survive, more than you ever thought you could.

Irre Gl Cklich

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Kailash Verlag
ISBN: 3641189926
Size: 59.77 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
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Auf ihre unnachahmlich liebenswürdige und verrückte Art beschreibt Jenny Lawson ihren Kampf mit Depressionen und Angststörungen. Indem sie »Ja« zu absurden Möglichkeiten sagt und so alltägliche Momente wundervoll macht, findet sie ihre ganz persönliche Waffe gegen die Krankheit. Ja zu der Liebe zu einem ausgestopften Waschbären, ja zu einer Australienreise, obwohl es sie oft überfordert, auch nur das Haus zu verlassen, ja zu Voodoo-Vaginas, Ponys im Flugzeug und mitternächtlichen Katzenrodeos. In den dunklen Stunden zehrt sie von diesen Erinnerungen – eine Einstellung, die ihr Leben gerettet hat. Mit unendlich viel Humor, Mut und Ehrlichkeit will die Autorin zeigen, dass wir nicht allein sind, und uns die Stärke geben, trotz Depressionen das Leben auszukosten.

Das Ist Nicht Wahr Oder

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Metrolit
ISBN: 384930051X
Size: 52.63 MB
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Als Kind wollte Jenny Lawson nur eines: sein wie alle anderen. Ihr großherziger, aber atemberaubend unausgeglichener Vater – ein Mann im Tierpräparatoren-Business, der seine Erziehungsmethoden mit selbst erlegten Tierhandpuppen vermittelt – wusste dies zu verhindern. Wer als Kind in selbstgemachten Kartoffelsack-Winterschuhen herumläuft und zum Geburtstag eine Wanne voller Grauhörnchen bekommt, kann nicht sein wie alle anderen. "Jenny Lawson ist wahnsinnig witzig, bissig, weise, absolut unangemessen – eigentlich wie Mutter Teresa, nur besser." - Marie Claire „Ich bin mir sicher, dass vielen Lesern Lawsons Humor Freude machen wird. Vormerken!“ - ARD/WDR MoMa

Und Samstags Weckt Der Rasenm Her

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: BASTEI LÜBBE
ISBN: 3732513904
Size: 65.10 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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Jen Mann ist eigentlich ein Landei, lebt aber schon viele Jahre in New York. Als sie Ebby kennenlernt, wird die Provinz wieder zum Thema - vor allem, als Gomer und Alberta aus der Beziehung eine richtige Familie machen. Also geht es zurück aufs Land - und damit mitten hinein in den schillernden Mikrokosmos, den man Vororthölle nennt. Bevölkert wird er von swingenden Nachbarn, irrlichternden Helikopter-Müttern und einem wohlgehüteten Geheimnis, das auf den Namen Putzfrau hört. Und natürlich von Ebby, der die wunderbar launigen Beobachtungen seiner Gattin mit asiatischer Gelassenheit kommentiert. Denn er weiß: Noch amüsanter als das Leben im Vorort sind unsere Vorurteile darüber.

Woran Du Erkennst Dass Deine Katze Deinen Tod Plant

Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 3527507418
Size: 76.48 MB
Format: PDF
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Eine Katze hält sich für einen Puma und ihr Miauen für furchteinflößendes Brüllen. Sie übt im Katzenklo das Verscharren von Leichen. Wenn sie gähnt, ist sie nicht müde - sie zeigt Ihnen ihr Killergesicht. "Woran du erkennst, dass deine Katze deinen Tod plant" enthüllt in skurrilen Comics die wahre Natur der gemeinen Hauskatze. Zu Papier gebracht hat sie der Meister des entlarvenden Humors The Oatmeal - herausgekommen ist eine urkomische und geistreiche Comicsammlung, die uns darüber aufklärt, was Katzen wirklich wollen: die Weltherrschaft (und natürlich am Bauch gekrault werden). Wenn deine Katze auf dir sitzt und trampelt, ist das kein Zuneigungsbeweis. Sie überprüft deine inneren Organe auf Schwachstellen. Wenn deine Katze dir einen toten Vogel bringt, ist das kein Geschenk, sondern eine Warnung. "Woran du erkennst, dass deine Katze deinen Tod plant" ist eine urkomische und geistvolle Sammlung von Katzen-Comics, Fakten und Handlungsempfehlungen aus dem kreativen Wunderland von The Oatmeal.

My Lame Life

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher:
ISBN: 0988408082
Size: 39.62 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
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New York Times bestselling author Jen Mann has written a funny and heartwarming story for fans of Meg Cabot and Rainbow Rowell. My name is Plum Parrish, I’m fourteen, and I’m pretty sure I’m invisible. Not like super power invisible, more like loser invisible. There’s a big difference. I live with my dad who doesn’t realize that a job transfer to Kansas is not a promotion; my s’mother who thinks journaling, cheesy inspo slogans, and mani-pedis can solve my problems; and my twin brother Pax who is so perfect I’m convinced we share absolutely no DNA. Unfortunately, I’m not invisible to them. I love them, but they embarrass me on the daily. Honestly, they would probably say the same about me, because I’m weird, sarcastic, and just a lot. My best friend is ghosting me, and my other best friend is a teacher. The move to Kansas is my opportunity to reinvent myself and embrace my a lot-ness (yes, that is too a word). Sure, I will literally have to battle a live bat, a Queen Bee, and my unruly hair, but I will find my tribe and own who I am.

Der Weihnachtstausch

Author: Fiona Harper
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 3956494857
Size: 55.22 MB
Format: PDF
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Eigentlich wünscht sich Juliet nichts mehr, als ihren Lieben ein schönes Weihnachtsfest zu bescheren. Doch als ihre Schwester Gemma dann noch ankündigt, lieber allein in die Karibik zu fliegen, platzt ihr der Kragen. Mit dem Resultat, dass Gemma einen gewagten Vorschlag macht: Sie wird gemütliche weiße Weihnachten mit ihren Nichten und Neffen verbringen, nicht zu vergessen mit Juliets nettem Nachbarn Will. Juliet dagegen übernimmt dafür Gemmas Luxustrip - ungeplante Abenteuer inklusive ...