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Toys 4 Cheap Catalog

Author: Asterios Kokkinos
Publisher: SCB Distributors
ISBN: 1942099266
Size: 39.16 MB
Format: PDF
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Parents on an absurdly tight budget love Toys "4" Cheap, the #1 source for used, defective, and highly questionable playthings. This illustrated catalog features toys like the Magic 1-Ball, My Digital Stepdad, and The Smorfs (collect all two!). Make your selections, call us at (555) TOY-FUPB, then pick up your items at one of two convenient Montana Badlands locations. "We will NEVER have a website!"

Toys 4 Cheap

Author: Asterios Kokkinos
ISBN: 9781942099116
Size: 27.62 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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This hilarious catalog of insane and dangerous toys by Asterios Kokkinos (Something Awful) and Jimmy Hasse (The Onion) is a sharp and unrelenting satire of yesteryear s most beloved playthings. Toys 4 Cheap is your #1 source for overlooked and discontinued toys like the Magic 1-Ball, My Digital Stepdad, and The Lack of Self-Care Bears. Make your selections, call (555) TOY-FUPB, then pick up your items at one of two convenient Montana Badlands locations. Remember: We put the "fun" in "No Refunds!""

Men Are Better Than Women

Author: Dick Masterson
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 9781416959199
Size: 73.49 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.

F Ck Whales

Author: Maddox
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476794987
Size: 71.45 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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A collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times bestselling author Maddox, of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe. In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F*ck Whales delivers on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants, and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.

The Higher Man

Author: Dick Masterson
ISBN: 9781523770731
Size: 45.51 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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It should be first and foremost noted that the following text is intended to constitute an adaptable philosophy as opposed to a literal religion. And it is, of course, extraordinarily important to consciously distinguish the difference--religion being the active pursuit of either higher knowledge or power by metaphysical means; philosophies the attempt to assimilate and appropriate the meaning of all action (more specifically, an attempt to assign plausible, if not theoretical, cause to effect in an effort to compose an appropriately aggregated antiquity of applicable experiences and subequent summations thereof).While the general themes of this text allude to principles of balance, it should also be prevailingly noted that this is in no way a respective reference to traditional nor contemporary concepts. The balance that this book suggests is more an active, kinetic, and dichotomic process than it is an effort to remain stabilized between, or among, two (2) mediums.The distinguishable differences being thus: that pendulums know no pause, and a clock atrophied keeps poor time. Moreover, that the pervasive point of the latter, therein, is to provoke as opposed to placate.For you are not a vessel! You are neither conductor nor conduit, but rather the music of life itself--riddled both with the individualistic propensities of character and creativity.Be ye modes of merriment, if thou willest.Statera per divisionem. In lunctus incongruentia..VIIIV.

Living Well Spending Less

Author: Ruth Soukup
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310337739
Size: 57.38 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
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In Search of the Good Life Have you ever felt that your life--and budget--is spiraling out of control? Do you sometimes wish you could pull yourself together but wonder exactly how to manage all the scattered pieces of a chaotic life? Is it possible to find balance??? In a word, yes.?? Ruth Soukup knows firsthand how stressful an unorganized life and budget can be. Through personal stories, biblical truth, and practical action plans, she will inspire you to make real and lasting changes to your personal goals, home, and finances. With honesty and the wisdom of someone who has been there, Ruth will help you: * Discover your "sweet spot"--that place where your talents and abilities intersect. * Take back your time and schedule by making simple shifts in your daily habits. * Reduce stress in your home and family by clearing out the clutter. * Stop busting your budget and learn to cut your grocery bill in half. Who Needs This Book? Living Well, Spending Less was written to bring hope and encouragement to every woman who currently feels overwhelmed or stressed with a life--and budget--that feels out of control. It speaks to the mom trying to juggle all the demands of a busy life with the pressure to keep up with those around her. It is a practical guide for those of us who often long to pull ourselves together but don't always know how. It is real, honest, packed with practical tips, and speaks to the heart of the matter--how can we live the life we've always wanted? Want to know if this book is for you? * Do you ever find yourself comparing your life to those around you? * Have you ever wished for the courage to follow your dreams? * Do you ever struggle to stay organized or get things done? * Have you ever felt loaded down with stuff you don't really need....or even really want? * Do you ever struggle to keep your finances on track? * Do you sometimes long for deeper, more authentic relationships in your life? If the answer to any of these questions is YES, this book provides real and practical solutions from someone who has been there. Ruth doesn't just offer advice, she walks it with you, and shares with brutal honesty her own mistakes, failures, and shortcomings. It is encouraging, motivating, and life-changing. What Others Are Saying: "An incredible book that will teach you how to spend smart without compromising a great life. Ruth's stories and practical advice will make you want to be a better mother, wife, sister, and friend." --RACHEL CRUZE, coauthor with Dave Ramsey of Smart Money Smart Kids "Ruth knows firsthand how mamas like us live crazy busy lives, and she steps in as a friend to help us manage and love every minute of it. She offers her best tips for gaining control over the chaos with wisdom-based insights on all things thrifty and family. I'll be reading it again and again!" --RENEE SWOPE, bestselling author of A Confident Heart

Solving Health And Behavioral Problems From Birth Through Preschool

Author: Roy Benaroch
Publisher: Greenwood Publishing Group
ISBN: 9780275993474
Size: 73.41 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
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All parents have faced the frustration of seeing their child sick and not knowing whether to rush to the doctor, offer over-the-counter remedies, or do little and wait to see if the problem passes. So too we have all faced those times when our children se

The Contented Toddler Years

Author: Gina Ford
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1407029339
Size: 47.30 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
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As babies grow, so their routines and patterns change. In The Contented Toddler Years Gina addresses the many changes in sleeping and feeding habits that arise during the second and third year. She offers invaluable advice and insight into these crucial stages of a child's development, from walking and talking, to teething and potty training and also shows you how to: -deal with tantrums, food refusal and sibling jealousy -prepare for the arrival of a second baby, including how to cope physically, emotionally and financially, and how to adapt her routines when caring for a baby and toddler -make teeth-cleaning fun and put an end to habits such as thumb-sucking, nail-biting and eating dirt -decide what type of childcare is best for you and your toddler Gina's advice is derived from hands-on experience of dealing with children. Parents can be confident that her techniques, which have been tried and tested many times and have proved successful with many different children, can also work for them. She has listened to the concerns of thousands of parents via her consultations and website. Reassuring and down-to-earth, parents will find Gina's advice can help make the passage from contented baby to confident child a happy and stress-free experience for the whole family.